We’ve all been there, been insulted or been on the receiving end of rudeness from someone, but if you hold a mirror up to that person you will see that they are the ones with issues and they are taking it out on you. This is down to something know as Perception is Projection, which is an NLP principle.
So what is Perception is Projection?
1. This means that what we see in others is reflection of ourselves. This may be a direct reflection if you think someone is being controlling, when in fact it is us that also tends to like being in control, hence we perceive our own issues that we project out ourselves in others.
2. Another way it works may be something deeper, such as if we are triggered by someone being rude, it may cause us to behave more intensely because we perceive rudeness as a horrendously ugly trait that forms the basis of our values that we’ve grown up with, so we project this dissatisfaction back at the person with more emotion than is appropriate. However this person may have a different set of values and never realised that what they were doing was “wrong”.
So what we need to do when we get triggered is ask yourself:-
“What’s within me that triggers me and makes me feel like that, what’s the root cause behind these feelings?” When you start looking deeper into it, it helps us to remove ourselves from the emotion and see things more clearly, which allows us to learn, adapt our behaviour, release the negative emotions and move on.
3. And finally we have to be careful what we perceive in others (by pre-empting a situation) as these emotions will be projected out onto others, creating a self-fulfilling situation. So what do I mean by that?
For example, if you expect someone to behave badly, you will go into that situation feeling negative, producing your own stress hormones and biochemical, and then projecting these negativities out, even if we think we are hiding them. This will then be picked up unconsciously by the other person’s mirror reflexes, which results in the biochemicals produced inside us, to be replicated by the other person unknowingly via their unconscious, causing them to behave in that negative way that you expected. Hence we can subtly cause people to behave in a certain way just by perceiving they will do something. So aim to think the best of people, and you will be surprised by the positive change in others.
Therefore, try never to take a negative reaction personally or think another person’s behaviour is your fault, as it is often quite different to how you perceive it.
Remember, it is often their reflection of their own issues that need addressing and not a reflection on you.
When people are rude to you, they reveal who they are, not who you are. However it does show us what limiting beliefs we have inside us that causes us to feel triggered in the first place and what we need address.
Remember no one can make us feel anything, we choose to feel the way we do.
Instead we need to:-
· Take responsibility for ourselves,
· Take a step back to analyse what is the root cause of us feeling triggered,
· Learn what you need to from that situation,
· Adapt behaviour and thought processes
· Release the negativity and
· Move on!!
Additionally, life can mirror our minds, so what we see around us can help us find that solution we were searching for, but sometimes we have to take responsibility instead of blaming others and make that change. You are in charge of your own destiny, so blaming others or looking for blame is unhealthy and stops you from being the person you really want to be.
I can help you make any changes that are stopping you from being that person you want to be and release any negative emotions and limiting beliefs that have been holding you back & causing you discomfort, by using a range of tools including Hypnotherapy, NLP and Time Line Therapy. http:///www.mind-bodywellness.co.uk .
Is it time to let go of the past and look forward to a happy tomorrow?